In the Quarter …

Bands come on tour and hit Burbon Street here. Why not? It’s Disneyland to you, my backyard to me …

It is what it is and I don’t ask why. Here are the guys from I Am Ghost (http://www.myspace.com/iamghost) and We Are The Becoming ( http://www.myspace.com/wearethebecoming) having a night off. You should check them out on tour.

Oh and an update from me? Like I’ve said, I could say a million things, but I am sure what you think you say is more important. So good luck with that. I’m just burning here like always … Hardly anyone notices which is about right.

Peace.

Rethinking some things ….

I’m rethinking a lot of things, but I bet … so are you.

There is no accounting for taste, or for all the noise in the world. I don’t find myself listening, I haven’t met a wise man yet.

I could say a million things but why? Everyone says too much as it is.

Worn Down Glowing Town

Just trying to keep things going tonight. Yeah a little worn down. I trust in my friends though and my ability to get lost in the car and find cool stuff. Good things to trust in right. Friends and lost ways.

I hope everything glows for you this weekend.

Oh and don’t worry about the dead they like you here with them.

Saint Louis #2

Just a few black and whites from Saint Louis #2.

I’m pretty happy when I can wander alone looking at stuff, and I guess that says a lot more about me than it should. I also do this anywhere. If I come to your town and it’s cool I’ll wander around your city too … I’m pretty much a ghost these days.

The Weekend … In color.

Hummm no talky, talky. But lots of walky, walky this weekend. Restless, it happens.

Note to myself: please stop haunting the city like a ghost. The city is getting annoyed.

And …

Way too much drama this week. So what, that’s life.

Projects are coming together, some things take some time. Going to find some stuff out this weekend.

I’m too emotional and too full of shit now. Mostly that’s because I actually USE my heart. Yeah I know, that’s odd right? Aren’t we all suppose to be uncaring and cool. Because really that’s all life is about right? Being cool?

I’m in a big fighting mood. I love my friends, I’m ok with my family, but really you don’t need me, and I don’t need me. And you really don’t need me. I could disappear tomorrow, I think your life would be just fine. There’s not a lot between here and nothing. I’m not depressed. I just don’t like any of you fuckers now.

Let’s try to keep it real this weekend. I’m going to hang in a tree house with some hippies. Hope you’re going something cool this weekend too.

P.S. Also visuals are just as important as music, and I think some of you have forgotten that. I DON’T mean anyone in particular (you fuckers are paranoid) I just mean the two are like peanut butter and jelly. Musicians forget that and then they end up looking stupid. You look stupid and you don’t even know it. Major fail really. Music with out a decent visual interpretation is only half the story …

Worrying …

Isn’t the damn internet an update city of bull shit? Oh yes …

I’m mentally reduced myself back to the beginning of everything. Makes it easier to get things done when you always think your going to fuck them up.

I want to go back to nature, I want to wander around for a while and stop worrying. I think this is a lot less than you think it is. I think I’m more than you can imagine. I think we need to stop hating and start loving, but I don’t think you’re ever going to take that seriously if you keep on letting the past drag you down. Sure people have hurt you, it doesn’t mean you can’t give future people a chance … If you can’t take a chance with someone then you might as well go buy your coffin. This thing of living is not about safety, and it’s also not about your happiness … This is what is getting everyone in trouble. The need to always be content and happy.

Open your eyes. The perfect moment is now. No matter where you are, or who you are with ….

I think I’m not going to worry so much, and I’m going to go outside and take some pictures. And that’s about it.

These pics are the crescent city connection bridge.  More here link.

Updates?

Update? Not sure why, not a lot to say. Photos are starting to fly on their own so that’s good.

I’m working a lot. There is a lot of personal stuff going on that does not matter, and I’m going to Helsinki again in March to maybe get eaten by reindeer. It seems like a good way to die … Also will be moving to Stockholm in the coming fall. Wish me luck! I don’t really care what happens to my body anymore just as long as it’s going somewhere.

My photo book on the cemeteries here in New Orleans will be coming out end of February. Mostly I am waiting to take a few more pictures and work on the layout some more.

I’m keeping myself busy to end the boredom and keep loneliness at bay … But actually I realize I could not be luckier and should probably not complain. I’m trying to be positive. It’s fucking hard. Right now, probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. Eventually you have to grow up (well I guess you don’t have too but it’s an idea proscribed by wise men).

Now? Fucking clowns …

Wicked Wedding Burlesque Mashup

Chris Issak, Billy Idol, David Lynch, Burlesque from the 50’s mash up.

Because I love David Lynch and burlesque so do you.

None of this belongs to me except the production of it, inspired by insomnia and sex. Song “Wicked Wedding” is mashed DJ Schmolli. Poem at the end is “I Come And Stand At Every Door” by Nazim Hikmet.

Enjoy.

Go here to view: http://www.vimeo.com/8465870

Was going to try to be more professional …

I was going to try to just start posting like helpful info and not just bull shit. Well fuck it. If you want to read about tech go look in a magazine or read a happy nerd blog. Not me. I am big nerd and I’m just frustrated.

There are no manners any more. There is no common understanding that if we work together we all win. The world seems to be propagated by a bunch of girls and boys who are slightly wacko and live in imaginary worlds, and try to push me in those worlds. Of course I have a sneaking suspicion I’ve just been dealing with the wrong crowed.

These days EVERYONE is a photographer, and EVERYONE is a musician, and EVERYONE is an artist. Really? I mean really? When you obviously suck you obviously suck. But then all I have to do is watch American Idol and be reminded that most people think they can sing. I mean seriously, I feel like I’m fucking loosing my mind.

The excellence of anything is cheapened by the fact that EVERYONE thinks they can do it to. I think maybe EVERYONE should leave it to people who might have some talent in it. Besides I don’t think everyone has suffered for their art enough … and crap like that. What I mean is you can’t fake real feelings, and most of you haven’t taken enough chances to even begin to live. Why should I trust your artistic vision on love, or pain or death?

No I’m not a “photographer” and I’m not good. But give me some half-naked “beautiful” woman and I am sure you’d think I was a genius. Everyone thinks with their sex, and I am sure I will fall into this sin as well.

I know that I can’t trust anyone with my dreams or with my “art” your just going to try to rape me for your own uses. I need some support … I wish I could get it from some people who are in my life. But they haven’t found anything to use me for yet, so I don’t exist yet for them.

My only real fear is that I have treated someone as badly at that. And I probably have.

So really fuck you and fuck me tonight.  No one listens to me anyway. Your own opinions are so damn loud I’m surprised you can hear anything.

Everything is everything. I am nothing. Maybe one day I’ll really embrace that.

fuck you. love me.

The New Year. A New Birth?

Being reborn is hard. Ask me about it sometimes. I have to remake myself a lot … I’ve got a lot of practice now. But I’m ready again, and it’s time, and there is not a lot more to say about that.

I’m not afraid of failing, I’m ready to dust off and do it again … The future is always uncertain that’s why it does not exist yet. Anyone can pull the moon down from the sky, but what are you going to do with it when you get it? This life is not a practice run.

You have to merge who you are and what you want to be together … Damn everyone else. Like I say, come with me for the ride or get out-of-the-way. I don’t have time for your prejudices or your negativity. This will get you no where, and does nothing but hurt us all. I’m not going to let fear drag me down, even the little fears. It’s time to loose those chains one way or another.

It’s going to be a beautiful year. I wish you the best in it, and if you see me on the street as a looser or as successful just try to show some me some mercy. Life is short, the road is hard, and I hurt like you.

Blessings.

Happy Holidaze

Not thinking in too much color currently. The city is dark and cool and the wind is clean, everything is kinda black and white, but still there is a holiday feeling …

Two Funerals And Seven Dogs Later

The holiday season is rough on a lot of people. It’s especially rough this year on some I know. I’ve personally gone to two funerals in the last week, gotten blindly drunk on one day, and almost left my job the next. Yeah that’s how I roll …

Hope and love and faith in each other will get us through it all, if we’d only trust that. I get petty and small sometimes and then I wake up and pull my head out of my ass and realize with all the love out there, I’m gonna be just fine. I get lost and get found every day if I only allow it. It’s hard to live this way but it’s worth it. I’m more in touch with what I’m about now, more than I ever have been. Personally I’ll tell you I’m not impressed by this. I’m a lot more … dirtier than I thought, emotionally and also with my past. I guess everyone has a checkered past.

You know I meet all these amazing tattooed warriors these days and I think “Wow you look fucking amazing I wish I could look like that!” and then I realize I carry all my tattoos and scars internal, and I don’t need colored hair to tell people I’m different because I already am. I’m not advertising … I’ve got a past full of tattoos and colored hair no one should ever know about. I’m here, I’m alive, that’s enough.

Things get heaver when you look at them too long. I’m trying not to look directly in the mirror and I’m pretty glad I’ve got everyone into thinking I’m all innocent. I’m a damn good actor.

My mom’s got seven dogs we saved after the hurricane. One afternoon in a herd of dogs will make you feel more love then you’ll get in a year from anyone else. Works for me.

Full Swing In The Season

All of us over here (I mean me and the voices in my head of course) wish you all a very merry and wonderful holiday season. Go out and love your loved ones, and appreciate what you have, and don’t worry about what you don’t have. Because baby if you have some love inside you have it all!

Been to busy here to get any Christmas pictures I don’t need happy pictures of the wonderful lights though because they are always warming my heart (and crap like that). Despite everything that’s been going on recently (including a funeral tonight) … Everything is what it is. I just hope I can live up to my heart. I hope I can convince myself into believing in all the faith I have inside. I hope I can trust myself with you.

Now let’s go light some lights and watch the children sing and believe in miracles with out the cynicism of the age.

Peace darlings.

Random pics till we get the Christmas ones.

Happy HallowDays?

Happy hallowed days maybe? Sacred days? Days belonging to more than just any religion. Maybe everyday should be such … Basically trying to hone some dreams here. Getting closer but not quite there yet. And when I say “dreams” I don’t mean the accomplishment of anything concrete, I mean getting closer to grasping some key plans I’ve had I just didn’t know I had. I know … this makes no sense. Some things can only be transcended in music or art. I’m working on both. All makes sense there.

I wish I could steal some times. I wish there was more mercy. I wish I could sleep and rest in a big oak tree.