Work is pretty crazy over here now. I am trying to get it all done, sometimes I am successful and sometimes I am not. It’s a very hard thing when you want to be good at everything you do and that’s never possible, because you’ll always let someone down. I am not even sure why I should care so much for letting someone down though … Isn’t that the attitude of a child ? What about everyone who lets me down? Is there no accountability there?
But I have not asked anyone why they have failed me in a while. I always make the mistake of assuming I’m always the one that fails … People who think they are more important than anyone else always fascinate me. I come off overbearing as a person but I would almost NEVER assume I was more important than you.
My father always had this attitude, and most white men I have met have it. You automatically assume the world should bow down to your will, and nearly everyone else accepts that. I always am wondering what that must be like to just be treated as powerful without earning it. I am going to take a wild guess that you don’t appreciate it or even notice it.
As a woman I have to spend long parts of my day even convincing other women that I know as much as a man, and am as capable. But I not a feminist at all, I merely just wonder what it’s like to have power and control so easily with out this long tedious up hill battle. To prove yourself as more than the “weaker” sex … Whatever that means …
I probably just need to get laid, create some beautiful art, and then set something on fire … oh well.
My father is putting his boat up for sale, it’s the end of a lifetime at sea here. Not sure how I feel about that.
